This is a Facebook post from July 15, 2019. It was a time when Job was on my heart often. I had many people I was mentoring also questioning their faith. Holding on to my own faith, while helping others to do the same was a difficult, yet life-changing experience for me. My faith grew deeper. God can use the most trying times and unfortunate circumstances to turn your heart & soul into something beautiful. I wanted to share that struggle here. ❤️

🎶"Oh my soul. Oh how you worry. Oh how you're weary from fearing you lost control. This was the one thing you didn't see coming and no one would blame you though. If you tried to fight it. If you tried to hide it away so no one knows. No one will see...if you stop believing. Oh my soul. You are not alone. There's a place where fear has to face the God you know. One more day, He will make a way. Let Him show you how you can lay this down...".🎶

At times we all struggle with our faith. God doesn't hide us from pain, actually He allows it time and time again in hopes that we will realize that just clinging to Him will make it all better. "Consider it all JOY when you face various trials, because the testing of your faith produces endurance. Let endurance have it's perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." In a perfect world, we would praise Him through the storm everytime because we know how much stronger our faith grows with every trial we face, leaning on His strength. Instead, we turn from Him, blame Him for our pain, and find comfort in worldly things....technology, things, sex, people, family, work, even "volunteering". We get busy, we find temporary relief from distractions, and we avoid the gaping hole inside that hurts and cries for peace.

Pain is inevitable. It's part of being human. God doesn't stop pain. He expects us to place our pain on Him and have faith. Sometimes, we get impatient, we feel like Job...crying out to God, "Why?!". But that's not the point. It isn't about us, it's ALWAYS about Him and His purpose. Job was all alone. His friends, and even his wife, all ended up blaming him for his situation and telling him to just ask for forgiveness, thinking he had sinned against God. He hadn't. He remained faithful. He lost everything and he remained faithful. He questioned and cried, but he kept faith. In the end, he was rewarded tenfold. His (known) reason for suffering??.......... to be an example of faith to Christians for millennia!!!

Job had no clue he would be so famous, known throughout the world as the man who never lost faith. What a legacy! & Job is spending his eternity worshiping his creator. His suffering wasn't for nothing, as he thought, it was God's plan. And so is yours.

I have almost lost my faith numerous times. But I have seen and experienced things that I have no doubt are from God. I have continued to hang on because of support from friends and family, but mostly, because God never lets me down. Everytime I think, ok, this is it...this time I will be done in....he shows me how instead I can be made better, stronger. But. I have to let Him. I have to be aware, to look for it, to open my eyes to more than just what’s happening right in front of me.

This fall when my parents separated, my father died, when Avery had a wreck, an emergency surgery, and then a big scary seizure and a lifetime diagnosis.....it was one blow after another for me. I legit felt like Job. My world was falling apart right as I felt like I was finding my way. God prepares us for life. Sometimes those preparations we receive are life-changing and painful. But after the pain, if you keep your heart focused on God, there's always something you can see that worked out, that was a blessing in disguise, that you didn't realize, or you face something else that you would not have been able to face if you hadn't already experienced a similar pain, or maybe even a worse pain. But the best circumstance that can come from your pain, is you sharing your story and helping others to feel like they aren't alone. Your story, your vulnerability, your faith ...wear them on your sleeve so that others can see, can learn, can grow from your faith. God's strength is in me. I may not always have perfect faith, but I always come back to the perfect Father who never lets me down, and never says he is tired of my wishy washy faith. It's ok to be mad at God. He can handle it. But if you feel you are losing faith, you aren't alone. We all feel that way sometimes.