10 Boundaries to Help Preserve Your Mental Health this Holiday Season
The holidays are hard for many reasons. Yes, it's the most wonderful time of the year, but for many, Christmas also brings plenty of uncomfortable emotions. Anxiety, depression, grief, loss, guilt, and shame are the necessary ingredients to create a perfect holiday cake iced with social pressures and all of the fancy, expensive baubles of the holiday season. It’s enough to make your head spin, honestly.
A few years ago, my husband and I decided to start slowing down and enjoying the holidays as a family; prioritizing our time, focusing on our values and beliefs within the occasion. Stepping outside the demanding expectations of the world allowed me to see and feel all of the joy and meaning within the holiday, instead of just going through the motions. It’s not an easy change to make, so I decided to put together a list of boundaries to help you preserve your mental health this holiday season.
Set Limits and Boundaries
It is a personal right to be able to have boundaries. You are allowed to limit topics of conversation, time, money, people, etc.
2. You Can Have Your Own Holiday Agenda
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want or need from the holiday. Big gatherings are a no-no in the time of Covid, but they still happen. If they make you uncomfortable, whether your anxiety is Covid related or not, it’s okay for you to opt-out. The holiday can be what you make it. Just because others buy expensive gifts, have certain schedules, meals, and gatherings doesn’t mean you have to join them. Create your own experience instead.
3. Don’t Feel Obligated to Stay.
This ties into number one. Just because you decided to attend a certain event, doesn’t mean you have to follow their schedule. Feel free to show up late, leave early, and drive separately if it suits your agenda.
4. Don’t Micromanage Others.
Within our own anxieties, we can start to try to push others into following our agenda. Allow your loved ones the same respect you desire from them. Be careful not to enforce your own holiday expectations on others by trying to control their schedules or clothing, gift, and food choices.
5. Stick to Your Values
In creating your own experience, it gives you the freedom to cultivate a holiday season filled with everything you hold dearest. What does Christmas mean to you? You are not obligated to participate in holiday traditions that go against your beliefs and values.
6. Spend time with Supportive People
Utilizing your support systems can help keep you motivated and reminded of your boundaries and why you set them. It’s okay to limit or refuse time with people who make you uncomfortable.
7. Take Breaks
Self-care is important. Be aware of your mind and body. Take a break when you need it.
8. Don’t Make Excuses
You do not have to make excuses for why you have set a boundary. Do not make excuses for those who cross them.
9. Be Respectful, yet Assertive
Don’t be passive-aggressive. Being firm while staying respectful will help get your point across.
10. Maintain the Boundaries You Set
Look at these boundaries as promises to yourself. You have set them for a reason. If you break these promises, you not only betray yourself, but you show others who may want to push those boundaries that you can be swayed. If these boundaries are important to you, do your best to stay aware and keep that promise.
Have more to add? Share in the comments below. I hope we can all be inspired to create a holiday experience we can continue to enjoy year after year. Happy Holidays!
