Healing.

We are all faced with pain of some kind, at some point in our lives. Usually, trauma is one of those things that gets forced on us, something we have no control over. We do, however, have a choice of how we respond to our wounds. Our choice effects our growth.

I have seen people choose never to face their demons. They die alone and sad, without ever having lived to their full potential. Their past, their pain, their demons consume them until their last breath.

I have seen others ignore that they ever had pain at all. These people call themselves strong, because instead of feeling, they choose to repress their emotions. They project their pain and insecurities onto their family and friends. They become hard, and never fully grasp how amazing and peaceful life could be, never learning to let go.

But, I have also seen people take their tremendous pain and turn it into faith, into strength, into their purpose. These people find their path, their spirituality. They cling to what good they can offer, changing their outlook, changing the lives of others, and ultimately changing the world.

I have been all three of these people at different points in my life. Where you are in your journey is not what matters. Your persistence to continue climbing out of the pit, to not give up, to learn to be vulnerable, that is true strength, that’s what counts in growth.

I remember a moment during the climb up one of the deepest pits in my life. I realized that this particular pit would be one that I would be climbing out of until I die. It will stay with me forever. It’s part of who I am. I was angry because I did not ask for it. I did not want it. In that moment, I felt so tired. I had been climbing so long already, the pain and weariness I felt in that moment, thinking of the long road ahead, I can honestly say, I was not in a good place. For the first time, I could understand why some people choose to kill themselves.

Thankfully, at this point in my life, I had an amazing support system and open communication. I immediately voiced my thoughts, instead of letting them simmer inside my head and start to take root. I did not like that darkness, and I realized I was giving it control that it didn’t deserve. I vowed to myself then, that I would NOT give up. So, I kept climbing that pit until God showed me how strong it had made me. The pit that was once so overwhelming, as deep as a chasm, was now only a small ravine. I was still climbing but the view was nicer, almost beautiful sometimes, because I took control over how it looked. My pain that almost drowned me, was actually a gift that has helped me flourish. Because I have been in some horrific dark pits in my life and continued climbing them, I am able to connect with other women like me. I am able to help. I am able to have this blog. & because of it all….the pit, the climb, the struggle, the connections, the writing, the serving…..I am closer to God.

All because, I chose to heal, to not give up, to lean on God and let Him lead. It has not been an easy process, and the road has not been a straight and easy one. But, I have learned a few things. I have helped a few people. And I have noticed that getting down in the ashes with others not only gives them hope and support they may not have elsewhere, it also inspires me, humbles me, and helps me grow. Through my adversities, I found beauty, and through sharing that beauty, I have found my purpose.

Update April 27, 2022: My purpose has grown into the fulfillment of my dreams. I am still learning, still growing, and still sharing, but my blog has grown into not only a community of growth, but a developing non-profit. A Lovely Pause is now dedicated to creating a space for people suffering from PTSD and other trauma-related disorders with the help of our peers who share our passion for helping others navigate their trauma. At the moment, we are a registered non-profit in the state of Arkansas. We are currently waiting on our 501c3 paperwork to be finished processing, and expect that to be filed and done by the end of July 2022. We have 8 board members who are dedicated to the growth of our organization and the betterment of the collective mental health of our community. Our current goal is to raise $5000 by this fall, so we can start accepting our first clients. We plan to partner with as many mental health facilities in the area as we can, as well as many other non-profits and small businesses that specialize in the aid of coping with the effects of trauma. In the future, A Lovely Pause hopes to be a safe space offering community education in the form of workshops and retreats, peer-led support groups, and a resource for connecting and assisting in personal development and growth through our partnerships with local businesses and organizations that will have a lasting and positive impact on their life. I started this blog as a way to connect with the hopes that those connections would lead to a deeper understanding of the needs in our area, as well as a way to give back more. I never expected to have so much support, for it to become what it has. I only pray it continues to serve its purpose, that I continue to be able to push through my own issues, push myself outside my comfort zone, and grow as a good example of healing and faith.

Remember to take a breath. Smell the Roses. Watch the Sunset. Life Happens in the Little Moments. So Take a Pause & Make it Lovely.

Welcome to A Lovely Pause.