Seasons of Reflection

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the cycles of life and nature, and my part in those cycles. It may seem strange to be thinking about winter in the middle of the summer, but here lately my mind has been pulled towards that season, and musings about what the winter brings.

There has been a lot of seasons come and go in my life. Both in literal and spiritual terms. Spiritually speaking, I’m no stranger to the winters of life. I’ve found myself in its cold embrace more times than I cared to. And it is an embrace that often offers little comfort.
Winter is a lonely season. It pulls the dark out of us, when we are craving light. The intensity of its bitter cold drives us inside, looking for something- anything- warm. Winter is a time when we wait…hopeful and praying for the changing of the season just ahead.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s beauty to be had in the winters of our lives too. The reflection that comes with the isolation of winter is perhaps one of it’s best gifts. And I’ve had a lot of time to reflect lately. In my last blog post, Season of Change, I went into detail about growing through our hard times. Many of my hard times were self-inflicted due to my lack of reflection. But you can’t heal what you don’t feel. I lacked understanding and the ability to do the reflection needed…and it was weighing me down, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The fast pace of life kept me tied to my hang-ups and blind spots. I unknowingly clung to them, and they clung to me.

I realized that braving the storm with such weight was keeping me from finding the comfort I was seeking.

Each winter showed me hard lessons. Hard lessons that taught me what to put down as I walked through the storm. And with each of those burdens I put down, I was better able to prepare myself for the spring that was ahead.

While some of the pain of winter was due to my own shortcomings, some of it was beyond me. There were blizzards that I was at the mercy of, forced to walk head down and blindly forward against. You can only hope that you don’t end up lost or in a worse way in those conditions.

I did the best I could with the tools I had. Early on in my life, my tools were few. I might have had enough resourcefulness to have a coat to brave the cold ahead. But as I’ve grown, those tools have too. One day I hope to have everything I need to contend with the challenges life gives us. But there is at least one truth I’ve learned over the many seasons I’ve walked this earth.
We are never done with developing those tools... or ourselves

The winters of my life have given me the gift of time. Time to heal. Time to reflect. Time to rest in the things that needed resting. It was cold and bitter at times. It felt like it would never end and I wondered how I would endure it. But sometimes it was in the quiet and calm that I could hear beyond myself and the worries of the world. It allowed me to hear God.

Being in Northeast Arkansas our snowy winters are getting fewer and farther between...but they are a lovely thing when they happen. Being in the woods after a snowfall is one of the holiest places I know. The quiet and stillness is palatable. You can feel that calm all around you. The chaos and the troubles of the world seem far away and less important. In that space, I feel so small and also so a part of the largeness around me.

In this season of worry and hurt, there are some things that are beyond us. Some things that are so large we cannot possibly carry it. It is here we can trust in the peace of something larger than we are...something that we belong to. This tool is faith, one of the strongest tools I’ve found to get through the trials of winter.

As I have walked through the harshness this season, I have found that I can feel God walking with me. I can feel His presence in my thoughts as I pray. I can feel Him in the stillness of my reflection. As I’ve learned to listen, I can hear His will more clearly, which has given me the guidance I need when I don’t know which way to go. Even in the bitterest cold, that feeling brings me comfort and strength enough to carry on.

It keeps me hopeful for a warmer shelter or the changing of the season just ahead.

Should you find yourself in your own winter, know that this is the place that your perseverance is tested. You may be in a long night of winter right now…it may seem like it will never be over. I have been in that valley too my friend. As lonely a spot as that is take comfort. Our God is one who sits in the valley with us…and shows us the way up out of it.

I pray God grants us the gift of reflection during the challenges of these times. The way things are is not the way they will always be. We can trust that Spring will return. And when it does we will have the tools we need to grow our most glorious garden yet.